Vera Hanging Herself

I thought about this a little bit before writing this and coming up with new thoughts. Vera killing herself put myself in her shoes; as someone damned to pay for the cause of someone else's death. Vera lets a kid boy drown, I'm not sure if she couldn't swim or not so I'll rule out related thoughts that may sidetrack and confuse you. I thought about being in her position ready to kill myself. I thought to my self what would I do?! Will I kill myself because of the fact that I've indirectly killed somebody? I thought would I feel deserving of death as my consequence? Also I thought why would I kill myself and why not someone else kill me? And then I thought what would I do since I have been around so much deaths, would I be inclined to kill? Vera kills herself, that's clear. I wonder if those same questions or some similar went through her head before the kick of the chair.